Fear not
by NothingToulouse
Summary: Todd held the flashlight between his two hands, the lonely shaft of light was dancing in the cave. If he hadn’t known better, he would have believed there were traces of tears on Charlie’s cheeks.' . Neil is dead and Christmas is near.


Fear not

The bells chimed.

Todd shivered as he ran through the thicket to the old Indian cave. It was the day before Christmas Eve and in a few hours he would leave this place to go home. So, probably for the last time this year, the boy climbed over the icy stones, fingers gliding through snow. Short of breath, he had to pause for a moment, then he slowly made his way into the darkness of the cave, his flashlight jittering wildly over the rocks. Todd suddenly noticed a distinct smell of ash, a small red light was dancing before his eyes as he slid down the last few feet and then he saw him, slumped down in a corner, smoking, eyes staring into nothingness.

"Charlie!"

The addressed boy didn't stir except for raising his eyes and Todd leaned against a rock, for his feet alone couldn't steady his emotions. _Charles Dalton_, he thought, bewildered beyond description. _Nuwanda._

"Geez, Todd, you're gaping at me like I'm some carnival attraction. Close your mouth, would you?" The older boy took a drag on the cigarette and coughed violently.

"You're here?" Todd stammered, his brain finally starting to function again.

"No." His voice dripping with sarcasm, Charlie eyed him, trying to stifle another cough. "'Course I am. Good to see you've noticed, though."

Todd hunkered down and shook his head in disbelief. "I was just… How come you're here?"

The other shrugged and tossed the tab-end away. "It's Christmas. I felt like it. Hitchhiked most of the one-hundred miles." He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply before coughing again. "You comin' here all the time?"

"Sometimes. Quite often, really." He relaxed a bit and held the flashlight between his two hands, the lonely shaft of light was dancing in the cave. If he hadn't known better, he would have believed there were traces of tears on Charlie's cheeks. "The others don't come here anymore. They… I'm not sure." He cleared his throat, then whispered: "They're coping, I guess."

"Getting on with their sorry lives, that's what they think they're doing. And _you_ are…?"

Todd fell silent and Charlie sighed. "What's with all the Carpe Diem, Toots?" As the other frowned, he laughed, but it sounded bitter and forlorn. "_Yawp_, Todd. Yawp your bloddy soul out."

The younger boy closed his eyes and said in a faint voice: "Stop it, Charlie."

"Giving up, are you?"

"I am not, Charlie, I'm only… I can't do this; everything…" Sobs escaped his lips and he buried his face in his hands. "Oh Neil!" he cried out and they could still hear the midnight bells. "Oh Neil, what have you done?"

Silence embraced them for a few moments, then Charlie turned the collar of his coat up. "I'm leaving, you know."

"How will you get back there?" The sobs faded.

"I'm not going back to that place. I'm _leaving_."

Charlie had gotten to his feet and scratched his head, his eyes not meeting Todd's.

"What do you mean, not going back … But Charlie – Charlie!" Todd gathered himself, his face filled with confusion. "What are you… You're dropping out of school, that's _crazy_! Where would you stay? You can't just leave."

The brown-haired boy turned towards him, smiling sadly. "You're right, I can't." His lips opened to say something else, but then he only exhaled sharply and heaved a sigh. "A bit unfortunate, this life, isn't it?"

Todd only stared at him in utter panic. "Whatever you're planning to do, don't do it, Charlie, please." He noticed he was shivering when he saw the other boy ascending the rocky steps. "Where are you going? Charlie!"

He got to his feet and scrambled out of the cave. Tears sprang into his eyes and he could see the coffin again, the grave, and Neil had just given up, he had left them, left him… "Please don't, Charlie, don't leave please, oh _Charlie_!" He reached the ground of the old forest and somehow got to his feet, crying out syllables, and then someone grabbed his shoulder firmly and he could see Nuwanda.

"Damn it, Todd, hush! I'm not going to..." Silence. "I'm not _Neil_, you know?"

The world before his eyes was blurry and his whole body was shaking, but the grip on his arm kept him alive and he leaned against the other body. "You can't do this, you just can't..."

"I'm not doing anything, kiddo. I'm just not going back to that school again, but that's hardly a reason for you to have such a fit, _capiche_?" Charlie coughed again. "And now stop blubbering like a goldfish, my coat is getting wet."

Todd managed a watery smile, but he didn't let go. "Where are you going?"

"I'll search for the Captain."

The blond boy took a step back. "Mr. Keating? But, Charlie, you're a runaway. You can't just go and… How will you find him?! Besides, I don't know… if he'll want you to…" His words disappeared when he heard a sound that sounded as if… "Someone's here, Charlie", he whispered, but the other boy had already noticed. Switching off the flashlight, both boys crouched down behind some bushes, holding their breath.

Feet were walking over dead branches and peaceful snow and now they could see the man coming nearer, walking straight towards the old Indian cave, holding a big, torn book in his trembling hands.

And they couldn't believe their eyes.

"O Captain, my Captain!"

* * *

This can't be healthy. "Fear not" is the second story in a row I've written at a time when I'm normally sleeping. It's 2:30 am now. Last night I wrote another fanfiction till 5 am. Well, what's a girl to do? **Seize the kairos** (if you don't know what the heck I'm talking about, google) ... Anyway, I hope you liked the story, it was written in the spur of the moment. Oh, and yes, this is complete. So there, use your imagination.  
Disclaimer... Title: Luke, 2 (Christmas Story), characters and everything you recognize probably belongs to Peter Weir and the other guys. 


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